heycrabman:

imagining a guy with a beard entering a mosh pit and coming out completely clean shaven

coughloop:

Just saw an adult man growl at a qr code on the wall

austimpowers:

no i cant play outside today i still have the curse

cerastes:

Whatever man *accepts you for who you are*

tonysopranobignaturals-deactiva:

babe i’m sorry I tagged your selfie unreality but I just think the beauty of women is unreal

hotcocoandmarshmallows:

Hey girl I trapped your boyfriend in a poll. don’t worry he’ll be fine, he just needs to outrun the tsunami. sorry

🌊🌊🌊

🚣

See Results

effemimaniac:

effemimaniac:

hits the bong and immediately becomes aware of the narrative

hits the bong again and looks directly at the camera knowingly

pinene:

Other people’s phones are truly hell on earth. Ringer on, full volume, automatically connects to any Bluetooth speaker. Eight pages of apps, thousands of unopened notifications, ten times as many unread emails. A busy, low res picture of a loved one as the wallpaper that makes the app names impossible to read. They have notifications on for every random game they’ve ever downloaded. Every five minutes they get an alert about a gas explosion thousands of miles away or a text from an unsaved number or a notification about a new pizza place in town. And they just swipe it away and return to etching patterns in the screen grease from playing some 3d car game that makes the device hot enough to cook an egg

iamnotlanuk:

I dunno maybe the horrors would be less daunting if we were holding hands

noisesys:

heavy are the paws that bear the beans

iamnotlanuk:

I dunno maybe the horrors would be less daunting if we were holding hands

iamnotlanuk:

I dunno maybe the horrors would be less daunting if we were holding hands

play-now-my-lord:

dude, for the last time, i can’t cover your shift. it’s right in the middle of my weekly wet doritos night. what part of “piggy needs her slop” don’t you get

largeballz:

anyone else at Joe Biden High School have she/they lunch this sexmester

softdaisie:

maybe mediocrity isn’t wrong. maybe you don’t need to be the best at everything you do. maybe you don’t need to be the best at anything you do. it’s ok to simply do things because you enjoy doing them. its ok to not want to advance in your job. nothing has to be a competition. you don’t need to be better than anyone. you can do things just because they’re fun. you don’t need to read up on the history, and know everything about it. its ok to just exist. its ok.